“Didi, you want to play a game?”
“Of course, what do you want to play?”
“We can play temple run or candy crush”
“Um, do you want to go out and play something? The weather is so nice.”
“No Didi, ipad is there na”

I remember being 5 and loving the outdoors, and I still love them as much. I am not averse to the idea of technological progress but I definitely consider myself a little old school when it comes to certain things – like reading books that I can actually hold, rather than using Kindle; having in person conversations over a cup of hot chocolate rather than texting all day long; and seeing my little cousins play in a park with their friends, rather than playing temple run on a screen.

Whenever I think of a child’s mind, I think of this beautifully woven thread of thoughts taking you to places you can’t imagine or leading to questions you don’t have answers to. Hence, I have been a little disappointed with 6 year olds lately; who only talk about the latest gadgets or how they spent most of their day playing Xbox with a virtual friend they know nothing about. Being someone who draws a lot of inspiration from kids, I find it a little distressing that children don’t fly kites anymore, or how they don’t bond with neighborhood kids over a game of Stapoo.

We are growing at a very exponential pace when it comes to technology, but are we failing at relationships in this world full of social networking sites dedicated to the sole purpose of helping us stay connected? When we hand over an iPad or a phone to a 3 year old to keep them busy, are we creating individuals who are tech savy and smart but still don’t know how to share a close bond with a real human being? Are we exposing our kids too much and rather too soon, so much so that they learn how to unlock a phone even before learning to say hello?

Gary Small, a neuroscientist and author of the book “ibrain: surviving the technological alternation of the modern mind” states that the “young digital natives”, the generation that grew up surrounded by computers and phones is good at technical skills but extremely weak at face-to-face conversations. Kids who spend most of their time in front of a gadget are likely to fail at social relationships. I feel a little compelled to add here that it is tough for us to keep kids away from technology – it is not only extremely appealing, there is enough peer pressure to be the “cool” one who knows what the next best thing is. Therefore, it’s necessarily to strike that balance. What is this balance though? Wherein does it lie?

At this point in my write up, I’d like to pause. Maybe even reconsider in the hope of finding that balance.

“Didi, what does this place you’re going to look like?”
“Um, I wish I could show you”
“Tell me na”
“It has a deep blue sea. Have you ever seen one?”
“What’s a sea? Lots of water?”
“Yes. Have you seen one?”
“I have heard but never seen”

That’s a snapshot of a conversation I had with a nine year old when I was volunteering for an organization that worked in the prison with women inmates and their children. We weren’t allowed to carry phones inside the premises. We only had our minds and a language to explain what we knew. I worked in this Jail for four months and the bonds that I made then, I know, will last a lifetime. I met kids who wanted to know about the world, who were eager, who told stories about spiders that could fly, and a moon that could walk. They played shake shampoo and asked questions I never had answers to. But when these kids asked me what Los Angeles looks like, I missed my phone. I wished so bad I could show them what an ocean looks like, but I couldn’t. I tried of course, I explained in words but I missed technology.

In all honestly, the kids were satisfied with my explanation; I was the one who wasn’t. Why was this, I thought to myself? Was it because I knew there was a better way of explaining and that left me wanting or was it because they did not know that you could actually see these things on a screen and just imagined it in their heads? Technological progress has helped us get access to a whole new world, which was far beyond our reach not too long ago and the fact that you can see places you can never visit, or talk to people you’ll never meet is the most remarkable part about technology.

This incident made me realize two things; firstly, we are surrounded by technology and it penetrates every aspect of our lives. Secondly, when we don’t know something exists, we do just fine without it. Maybe that’s where the balance lies. When babies grow; they don’t ask for an iPad – we expose them to it. It is not something they need in order to survive in this world; it is something they need to be at par with this world. Maybe if we as adults become more responsible, our kids will turn out just okay – with a brain that’s skilled enough to master a laptop and a heart that doesn’t mind a bond.