Growing up, my mom had one basic tenet when it came to marriage, dating, and feminism: “Jamie, make your own money so you never have to ask a man for the things you want.” She gave me this advice so many times that it became my mantra and something that dictated my dating behavior for years. I wasn’t attracted to men with money. In fact, I was mostly repulsed by them. I was also repulsed by the idea that I should be attracted to a man because of his money. I had no desire to be supported, and so, instead of focusing on men, I focused on my career. My fallback plan was me, not a man. And although we’ve progressed beyond women solely being relegated to being housewives, it was still clear to me that the expectation for women was to find a man with a good salary and a good job who would provide. Men had to provide. It was biology. Right?

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