In this Pride Month conversation, Vinta Nanda speaks with Salim Asgarally about identity, transition, family, friendship, fashion, self-expression, and the ongoing struggle for dignity, visibility, and freedom in a changing social and legal landscape.

As Pride Month celebrates visibility and inclusion across the world, The Daily Eye presents a deeply personal conversation between Vinta Nanda and Salim Asgarally. Their discussion explores the realities of coming out, navigating family relationships, finding strength through transition, confronting prejudice, and understanding why authenticity remains one of the most radical acts a person can embrace.

Salim Asgarally occupies a unique place in India’s fashion and cultural landscape. Trained at the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising and UCLA, he built a distinguished career as a designer whose work combined international sophistication with Indian aesthetics. Over the decades, he dressed celebrities, mentored emerging talent, and established a respected fashion label that travelled far beyond India’s borders. 

Yet Salim’s story extends beyond fashion. Long before conversations about sexuality and gender identity entered mainstream public discourse, he chose honesty over concealment. At a time when homosexuality was criminalised and deeply stigmatized, he lived openly and authentically. In recent years, he embraced a transition into the third gender, opening a new chapter in a life defined by courage and self-discovery.

This Pride Month interview is not merely about identity politics. It is about freedom, friendship, family, love and the right of every human being to define themselves on their own terms. 

Coming Out Before Acceptance

Looking back to the years when homosexuality was criminalised and socially unacceptable, what gave you the courage to live openly?

When I came out in the early 1990s, the social environment was very different from what it is today. My education in Los Angeles exposed me to a world where LGBTQ+ people were more visible and more accepted. That experience gave me perspective and confidence. I also came from a family that was relatively liberal in its outlook, which helped.

More importantly, I had reached a point where I was very clear about who I was. I never felt confused about my identity. Once you truly accept yourself, facing the world becomes easier. I believe confidence is contagious. When you present yourself without shame, people begin to respond differently. There were challenges, of course, but I was fortunate to have conviction. That conviction became my strength.

How did your family respond when you first spoke openly about your sexuality? 

My mother and sisters were naturally concerned at first. Their concern did not come from rejection. It came from love. They worried about how I would cope in a society that was not accepting. They worried about my future, my happiness, and the difficulties I might encounter.

Over time, they realized that authenticity was essential to my well-being. My family understood that hiding who I was would cause far greater pain than living honestly. Their acceptance became one of the foundations upon which I built my life. Looking back, I feel immense gratitude because not everyone receives that kind of support.

Love, Partnership and Chosen Family

You often speak about your former long-term partner with great affection. How has that relationship evolved? 

We spent fifteen years together, and those years shaped both of us. We faced resistance, uncertainty, and many social challenges as a couple. The relationship eventually changed, as many relationships do, but the affection and respect remained.

For me, relationships are not defined solely by romance. They are defined by care, shared experiences, and emotional connection. Today, we remain close friends. We support each other and remain connected to each other’s lives. I think society often teaches people that every ending must be dramatic or hostile. My experience taught me that relationships can evolve into different forms while retaining love and respect.

Your friendships challenge many conventional ideas about relationships. What have you learned about human connection?

I have learned that the deepest connections are often spiritual rather than social. We spend so much time trying to fit relationships into categories, yet the most meaningful bonds often transcend labels.

Some friendships survive because they are rooted in genuine understanding. They are not dependent on status, gender, sexuality, or social expectations. They endure because they are built on empathy. Those are the relationships that have sustained me through different phases of my life. They remind me that human beings are connected by far more than identity categories.

Fashion and Identity

Did your work in fashion influence your understanding of yourself?

Absolutely. My fascination with fashion began very early in life. I grew up surrounded by stylish sisters, and I was drawn to clothing, colour, texture, and self-expression. Fashion fascinated me because it offered a language beyond words.

Looking back, I now realise that fashion allowed me to express aspects of myself that I did not yet fully understand. Designing clothes for women often felt like a form of self-expression. It was a creative journey, but it was also a personal one. Through fashion, I explored identity, beauty, and transformation. In many ways, my professional journey and personal journey were deeply interconnected.

The Meaning of Transition

What has transitioning meant for you emotionally and spiritually?

Transitioning has been one of the most liberating experiences of my life. For the first time, I no longer feel dependent on validation. I do not feel compelled to seek approval or acceptance. That freedom is incredibly powerful.

Emotionally, I feel stronger and calmer. Spiritually, I feel aligned. There is a profound difference between performing an identity and living it. Once I embraced who I truly was, much of the internal conflict disappeared. The transition was not about becoming someone else. It was about becoming more completely myself. That realization has changed the way I relate to the world and to myself.  

You lost some friendships during your transition. How did you deal with that pain?

It was painful because friendships are precious. Nobody enjoys discovering that people they care about are uncomfortable with their choices. Yet I eventually understood that their reactions reflected their own fears rather than my reality.

Some people struggled with my appearance. Others struggled with the visibility of my transition. I realised that I could not allow those reactions to determine how I lived my life. Authenticity requires courage. Sometimes it also requires sacrifice. While some relationships faded, others became stronger. Most importantly, I gained a deeper sense of self-respect. 

Why do you think society continues to struggle with gender diversity?

Much of it comes from fear. People often fear what they do not understand. They worry that exposure to different identities will somehow influence others, which reflects a misunderstanding of how identity works.

Gender identity is deeply personal. It is not something that can be imposed from the outside. The assumption that visibility creates identity is fundamentally flawed. Visibility simply creates awareness. Education, empathy, and dialogue remain essential if society is to move beyond fear and towards understanding.

WATCH THE FULL INTERVIEW HERE:

VIDEO 1

What Pride Means Today 

What does Pride Month represent to you?

Pride is first and foremost a celebration. It is about taking pride in who you are. It is about visibility and self-acceptance. For generations, LGBTQ+ people were made to feel invisible. Pride challenges that invisibility.

It is also a reminder that progress is possible. Every parade, every gathering, and every act of visibility sends a message: we exist, we belong, and we deserve dignity. Pride is not about demanding special treatment. It is about affirming our humanity. That is why it remains so important.

How do you view the tension between personal identity and legal definitions?

Legal systems often struggle to keep pace with social realities. Throughout history, institutions have resisted change when new ideas challenge established norms. Yet human dignity requires that people have the freedom to define themselves.

Many transgender individuals need support, healthcare access, legal recognition, and social acceptance. When laws make these things harder to obtain, the consequences can be severe. Progress may be slow, but history shows that change is possible. The conversation around self-definition will continue, and I believe society will eventually move toward greater inclusion.

Advice for the Next Generation

What would you say to young queer and transgender people who are still finding their way?

Trust yourself. Listen carefully to your own voice. There will always be people who want to tell you who you should be, but only you can define your identity. Build supportive relationships. Seek communities that celebrate you rather than merely tolerate you.

Do not measure your worth by other people’s approval. Authenticity is not always easy, but it is deeply rewarding. The journey may be challenging, but you are not alone. Every generation that chooses honesty creates more space for the next generation to live freely.

Salim Asgarally’s journey is ultimately a story about freedom. It is the story of a designer who built a successful career, a person who chose visibility when silence would have been easier, and an individual who embraced transition despite resistance. It is also a story about family, friendship and growth.

Salim’s life demonstrates that true freedom begins when people stop seeking permission to be themselves. His experiences remind us that progress is never automatic, that acceptance must often be fought for, and that courage is not the absence of fear but the decision to move forward despite it.

As Pride Month continues to inspire conversations around inclusion and equality, Salim’s voice offers an important reminder: every human being deserves the right to define themselves, to live honestly, and to be treated with dignity. That principle lies at the heart of both personal freedom and social progress.