ORIGINAL AND KICKASS: KAINAZ JUSSAWALLAby Editorial Desk April 12 2023, 12:00 am Estimated Reading Time: 3 mins, 20 secs
Sixteen original, kickass quotes and phrases from award-winning author Kainaz Jussawalla’s new juicy and unfiltered book, from The Daily Eye Newsdesk
“Who Wants to Marry Kai Juicewalla?” is a racy memoir that will take you on an exhilarating ride of emotions. Kainaz Jussawalla, the author of the book, is a columnist, micro influencer and the founder of the ‘Be A Friend’ initiative for seniors. This new memoir takes you through her journey of self-discovery and acceptance highlighting her experiences with teenage body shaming, star crossed relationships with the opposite sex and global misadventures with her fun gal tribe from her airlines.
- I want a love so powerful, so booooooombastic that the dusky midnight sky turns into one massive rainbow and the heart explodes into an SRK love song, “Tujhe dekha toh yeh jaana sanam…”
- I believe men are from mars but women are definitely from a planet that even God didn’t know existed. (That proves God is a man. Ladies I know, I know, but think!)
- I have learnt that nice girls do not create history. That my friend is an established fact. Bad girls on the other hand, create both history and mystery.
- Men are like French fries, one is never gonna be enough.
- 10 regular people are sacrificed at the altar for one insane Parsi to be born.
- Thou shall not covet a Neighbour’s house (unless it’s AB’s Jalsa or SRK’s Mannat)
I know, I know, good words, good thoughts, good deeds are the crux, and the sine-qua-non, of Zoroastrianism but what did our predecessors know about ‘Kalyug ke dukh?’
- I am a sex goddess in the middle of an endless parched spell. (Though I would like the world to think that I am a wanton sex goddess with a ‘very bad man between my thighs’ just like Bridget J).
- Why God why? Am I supposed to die alone with only teddy Pookie shedding make-believe tears for me?
- Oh Khoda, what if the wacky bird was right? What if I actually get the interview call for the job? But me, a Trolley Molly?
- It sounded almost like Monica Lewinsky was being elected as President of the United States.
- A holiday fling with an enthralling foreigner is a silent prayer answered. If this won’t get that rat in Mumbai out of my system, nothing will.
- But every self-respecting woman has (and should have) two sides to her, one of a nurturing partner and the other a badass bitch. It all depends on which of her buttons you push.
- You can’t hurry love . Even if nothing is written and you are dealt with a blank page (like I was) it is what it is. Then no matter how many fortune cookies you crack open or aromatic incense sticks you burn to attract a suitable handsome as hell lover or how many shrinks you buy to hear your sob story, love has its own fu**ing mind. No Tantra-mantra-yantra can work if the Good Lord has decided it’s not in your best interest or worth your time.
- Me Bridget Jones? She is epic. I am a simple Parsi girl with more jelly in my belly than fire, trying to hold my life together and flopping most of the time. So badly.
- I can’t blow this. My heaven-sent rendezvous with SRK is finally here. It is the perfect time to unleash pent-up anger umm lust. Perhaps it was time to call a truce and fulfil a longstanding fantasy. After all, isn’t everything fair in love and war?
- Shaadi ka laddoo kha ke kisko pachtana hai? I would rather have motichoor laddoos!