Critics rating : 1 Stars

Cast :  Vin Diesel, Rose Leslie, Elijah Wood, Israel Baldecañas, Michael Caine 

Direction : Breck Eisner

Produced : Mark Canton, Bernie Goldmann

Written : Cory Goodman, Matt Sazama, Burk Sharpless

Genre : Actions

Duration : 106 Mins

What is one to comprehend with a warped fantasy fiction that cannot possibly make sense of itself? The Last Witch Hunter begins with a disclaimer that it is not trying to promote superstition of any sort but says nothing on the drab dryness of the story that is to follow.

Kaulder (Vin Diesel) is a witch hunter who has been cursed with immortality after he stabs a witch. He lives through the years, which are not depicted visually but through dialogue as he jumps from a quirky hairdo and beard to the clean-cut Fast and Furious avatar.

He continues to work for the Witch Council while Michael Caine, his Dolan (a priest in that universe) trails behind the hero as a documenter of his accomplishments. Mercifully for himself and unfortunately for the audience, his role barely extends beyond a scene or two where he provides exposition on how “Truce is a fragile thing” between the humans and the witches.

When his untimely death paves the way for the 37th Dolan (Elijah Wood) to be by Kaulder’s side and things get more sinister than they can handle, Kaulder enlists the support of Chloe (Rose Leslie), who is handy with charms and potions.

The world is set up but something about the haphazard manner in which characters flit in and out of the screen make for very little storytelling. For a film about the last witch hunter, there isn’t much hunting to go around. Even the action scenes are tame. The one stand-out moment is when Kaulder presents a criminal to the darkly attired Witch Council where the baddie spits out, “You look like a bad 80s band!”, almost pre-empting the audience’s reaction to the same. There is also a particular scene where the characters are behind-the-scenes of a fashion show which looks like Poison Ivy designed the couture.

Ultimately, this is a blur of surreal movements and little else. Vin Diesel may be riding high on the success of Furious 7 but will gain nothing from this film. To top things off, there is a potential sequel in the offing, so brace yourselves.