Writer Ranjan Das Gupta reflects on emotional intelligence as a human, ethical and social force. Drawing from personal experience, philosophy and society, he examines how emotional balance shapes character, responsibility and compassion.

I first learnt about emotional intelligence from Bimal Chatterjee, founder of All India Parapsychology Society in the early 80s. The term emotional intelligence was unknown then. Bimal Uncle taught me the art of balancing and controlling emotions with inner spirits of the heart which were intact with the mind. I was amazed how with simple mental exercises the overflow of emotions could be controlled. Uncle also taught me an emotion is a sentiment with intellect which should never be over used.

Misunderstanding Emotional Intelligence Today

The present scenario has a lot of discussions and writings on emotional intelligence. Sadly the term is misunderstood as a technical one in the lines of artificial intelligence. As eminent scholar Dr Prerna Sahani who has completed her PHD in emotional intelligence pointed out to me and I agreed the subject is a poignant and difficult one to define in a few lines. However it can be simple if instincts are used properly guided by systematic studies and emotions controlled at the right juncture.

Working in the corporate, education and healthcare arenas for three and a half decades I have noticed that the majority of the intelligentsia know well about emotional intelligence but consciously avoid it. They fear that their weak inner selves which are not emotionally strong will get exposed. According to them, public emoting is a backdated and stupid exercise. This is not at all true.

Personal Experience And Emotional Restraint

When my parents died early, I was heartbroken but did not break into tears. I am not proudly expressing myself but I thanked my unknown knowledge of emotional intelligence which helped me to control myself and be rational. Emotional intelligence teaches a human being self-respect, the right path to use emotions without being senseless and above all the art of restraint. Going overboard in any form is not a right means to look at life.

I have faced flack as many believe I preach being an emotionless vegetable. I contradict this statement stating that I do have emotions like any other human being. My continuous study of emotional intelligence and the ability to keep away from attitude sickness are only some components which have helped me to control my emotions at the right juncture. There are many in this world who are leagues ahead of me regarding these aspects.

A Real Example Of Emotional Balance

In a discussion with healthcare baroness Dr Sangita Reddy, I discovered she is dynamic yet so down to earth. She looks down to the ground and streets whenever she can. It helps her to associate her mind with reality and she continuously practices the art of controlling her emotions without being emotionless. I did discover her emotional intelligence is not a conscious effort to project double faces.

Not everyone is a benevolent bourgeois like Sangita Reddy. The loopholes of a moribund capitalist system showcase the misuse of emotional intelligence. After all such a system propagates individualism and survival of the fittest. Aren't these concepts anti-human?

If not then why are the rich getting richer day by day and the poor poorer? One who has to think of filling an empty stomach daily has no time to know about emotional intelligence. Only a benevolent state structure can give him confidence, security and he can automatically be inspired by emotional intelligence unknowingly.

Emotional intelligence helps to cure attitude sickness, the silent killer. An attitude sick person develops narcissism and then becomes a victim of psychological disorders. Emotional intelligence is the ideal way to help an attitude sick human being to be grounded and come out of inhibitions. It is not without reason that P.B. Shelly mentioned our sweetest songs tell of saddest thoughts. He long ago understood the melody of melancholy can be overcome with reason and intelligence.

Literature, Nihilism And Emotional Collapse

The ideal example of Vladimir Ich Lenin terming Fyodor Dostoevsky an evil genius may not be agreed by many. I myself stand testimony to an employee of a top bank whom I knew. He was too merged in Dostoevsky and ultimately committed suicide due to a nihilist attitude. This remains a burning example in my life where an educated banker defied emotional intelligence with individual arrogance and the result was so pathetic, theoretically speaking. 

In the contemporary insecure society let not emotional intelligence be used as a technique to forcefully keep emotions at bay and be ruthless.

Emotional intelligence can be used to create truly good human beings.