BIRTH is an unpredictable affair. One moment you are contentedly showering your enormous, overstretched self, or lying on a hard hospital bed with nothing much to do; the next all hell is breaking loose, the midwife screaming, rubber gloves flying, monitors beeping, partner fled to the loo, and the Mozart tape you brought to usher the new soul into the world completely beside the point. The only entity in control is Nature, crushing through you with a propulsive force sufficient to dislodge the planet. Now, said Elisabeth Bing, things should not be like that. Birth would often be surprising, but the prospective mother could also stay in charge: awake, alert, undrugged, and even to some degree enjoying herself. First, she should have spent many weeks on relaxation exercises, learning to let the rest of her body droop pleasantly while the uterus did all the work. Next, she would have practised breathing, greeting each contraction with a “deep cleansing breath” and bidding it farewell with a smile.

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